The Truth of God Cancels Out Lies

Two (2) things God has taught me recently:
(1) Truth isn't comfortable
AND
(2) Truth convicts

Truth isn't comfortable because when I read His word, that requires an attitude and mind shift. When I meditate on the truth, I am aware of what keeps me from Him. Then I evaluate my life and choose to change.

Truth also convicts me of sin in my heart and mind. His truth penetrates the deepest part of me and then I question what I'm really about: God or the world?

The world is full of lies that creep into my mind that sometimes go unnoticed. And when they go unnoticed, it leads to a damaged relationship with God.
Only His truth can cancel out lies.

By bridging these two characteristics of truth together, they build my faith stronger in Him.

Sleepwalking in Apathy

I want to take you back.

Back to the start.

At the beginning of my freshman year of college, I was apathetic in my relationship with God. I didn't care about anything spiritual.

That's honest and real. I went to "Summit" but only because I felt obligated to attend.

God changed my life during that week (in 2008). He replaced my closed and unresponsive heart with His.

I have realized God is continually replacing my unresponsive heart with His heart. Every day that I'm not growing in God, I need to stop and ask Him to examine my heart and transform it so that He can move and grow and have His way.

Anything else, anything less is self centered and that needs to die.

I never want to be sleepwalking in apathy.
 
I don't want my generation too either.

Let us be awake to everything that God is about.

For HIS renown,

~Susie

The Way Back to God's Heart

I'm on a journey that never ends.
Each second, each moment, every day, each week will lead me closer to His heart if I let Him, if I choose His way.

And when I don't?
When I choose to go my own way?
That only leads to disaster. Sometimes I fail to see the disaster that is sure to follow poor decision making or anything that acts as a hindrance.

I can say today I'm out of sexual temptation and sin. That old life has been nailed to the cross. God has taken that desire from me.

Thank you, God, for taking that desire from me.

When I do struggle with anything that distracts me from God, I need to submit to His authority and get into His presence.

I know I'm on the way back to the heart of God.

For HIS renown,

~Susie

Focus: Heart [Part 1]

I feel a crucial part of my relationship with God is the state of my heart.
Where is my heart in connection with Him?
After everything I've been through so far this year, my heart is pure and ready to be molded into something that will glorify God.

Prayers need to be focused on asking God to protect His heart- which is living in me.

How often do I think that His heart is living through me? This also makes me think about what attritubutes characterize His heart.

I honestly don't know what I'm learning here, but I let Him direct my life. and all growth that is taking root.

I have a new heart placed in me so I'm ready for God to rebuild my faith-from the ground up. Because without a strong foundation, there is nothing. Additionally, how can I expect growth to take place if I'm not rooted in Him?

All for His glory + Always <3

~Susie

Focus: Heart, Head, Hands, + Habits

There are many things I could focus my life on. However, I want these four characteristics to always be a priority in my life:

Heart: This is the wellspring of life itself. Also, the heart is where my emotions and passions flow from.

Head: This is the belief that my faith is reasonable and having a desire to know what I believe is imperative and the understanding why this shapes who I am as I live out my faith in the world.

Hands: This seeks to answer the fundamental question, "how then should I live?"

Habits: Finally, how does what I do enable me to live the life I am called to live?

Not only do these serve as a focus, I want these to continually direct my life and my faith, so I'm not wandering around aimlessly.

Always <3

All for HIS glory,

~Susie

Motivation

I want to say I'm seeking after God hardcore. I want to say I'm learning tons that is increasing my knowledge of Him.

But that isn't the case. Honestly, I have no motivation to do my devotions. I don't have discipline either.

so right now I'm skating by. Maybe I've grown a little apathetic and complacent (again).

Oh. This is nothing new.

I need a change in attitude. A change of heart.

that's all.

All for His glory + always <3

Everything I'm Striving for I'm Not Seeing

Up until this point, I lived in a way that reflected my heart and the desire to seek God, to truly live with Him.

Now life has gotten in the way. Finals week has approached and I make myself be busy to distract me from the call of God, to continue spending time with Him.

Everything I had, everything I wanted, is it gone? Beyond my reach?

I lived in the presence of God. It was intense. Have I lost it all because of fear? Fear that God has called me out of a mediocre life, out of everything I have ever known.

I don't know what any of this means but I just want to push everything out of the way so I just spend my life, daily, in pursuit of a passionate lfe, for His renown.

I want to get everything out there so that it's not in me any longer.

I want to be truly free to go with God: no matter where He's leading me.

All for His glory + <3

Rise Up and Say No More

So, the last post I wrote was on complacency. By the grace of God, I am slowly moving out of that state. Every day I have to make a conscious effort to not be satisfied where I am in faith; but always keep moving forward.

Change doesn't come overnight. It is a process. At this point in my life, I want to enjoy the relationship I have with God. I want to be the kind of Christian that is excited about all God is doing in the world. I want to spread the passion that is growing in my heart to those around me.

I want to rise up and say no more: to complacency, to contentment, to everything that seeks to drag me down and away from pursuing God above all else.

All for His glory + Always <3

Complacent

I feel lately I have been all over the place in my spiritual life. First, I struggled with fear (which I still do), now I'm struggling with complacency.

The spiritual life is never boring. God is revealing aspects of my life that I wanted to keep beneath the surface. The darkness of my life is always overshadowed by the light God provides to me.

Honestly, I'm comfortable where I am in my relationship with Him: I don't want to move farther yet I don't want to move closer.

Stagnation is what I want. It's easy. No changes are needed. A life of comfort.

That would be nice because then I wouldn't have to deal with parts of me that are displeasing to God.

God calls me to something much more than just a state of complacency. I must be willing first. And when I'm not, I'm just hurting myself. I know God is stronger than my lack of willingness and his ways will always prevail over mine.

I don't know how I got to this point because this past May I prayed that I would become lost in God. Now I don't know what that meant. The reason I prayed that is because I had just finished my Junior year at IWU and I had been freed from myself. I wanted to be taken deeper. Lost in God seemed like the right direction. Looking back, I seem to becoming lost in God, because I don't know where I am going from a spiritual perspective.

God has worked in my life in so many ways that I can never turn the other way. But, in this moment, I am struggling with complacency and fear.

I love how I can never be in a place where God won't rescue me or teach me something that will bring me even closer to Him.

I'm in His heart. His heart is in mine.

I can't deny that.

So until next time,

All for HIS glory + always <3 

On Solitude and Escaping Chaos

Yesterday I went to Salamone Reservoir located about 20 minutes from the IWU campus. Now I want to get one thing out there.

I am not one to venture out of my "comfort zone" often. But I felt that I was staying in a spiritual slump and needed to do something that wasn't routine for me. More importantly, I felt that God was leading me to go spend time in solitude with him.

As I reflect on my time alone with God, I realize that the things He revealed to me could only happen when I got away.

My spiritual self has been renewed and I feel I have recommitted myself with God. I LOVE that!!!

Key verses God revealed to me were 1 Corinthians 6:19 and Psalm 84:5 which says:

"Blessed are those whose strength is in you,

who have set their hearts on pilgrimage." (italics added)

The phrase "...set their hearts on pilgrimage." really convicted me for two reasons:

1) I like the language used. "pilgrimage" essentially means journey.

AND

2) The people of this day set their hearts on the journey toward God. They had an assurance that God would be with them throughout their journey.

This got me thinking about my own spiritual journey. I hate to confess this but my mind is what leads my journey with God most of the time. Instead of letting go, and saying, "my heart is going to lead the life I have with God", I think, "how practical is spending time in devotions when I have all this other stuff going on around me?"

During this time of solitude God revealed (and I received): my heart cries out for God, but my mind drowns those cries out by logic. I then prayed that my heart would learn to listen to the voice of God. I asked a hard question, Why is hard to be led unswervingly by my heart? I'm logical and want to analyze everything.

This isn't what I was created for, to be hard on myself because the voices in my mind won't shut up. The plea of my heart is to be completely open to Him and spend much needed time with Him, because He quiets everything in me when all there is chaos.

With all this said, I have a new perspective on solitude and being alone with God. Sometimes when I take time for myself, God reveals things that normally would stay buried deep within the surface of my life.

All for HIS glory + Always <3

Just Wait

Spiritual growth can be intense.

That is an understatement.

I am used to God working in my life quickly, one thing after another. And when I was far from Him, when I was going my own way, God waited for me.

Now it's reversed. I must wait for Him.

Psalm 27:14 states, "Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."

The call is simple.

Wait.

I HATE waiting. When I'm at a store, I always look for the shortest line so I'm in and out. I'll be honest: I'm not the most patient person.

I am called by God to be patient. God was patient with me.

At this time in my spiritual life, I must wait for God.

That is my prayer in this moment.

All for His glory + Always <3

Relationship Rather than Ability

So last time I wrote on communion verses competence. Simply put, competence focuses on ability whereas communion focuses on relationship rather than ability.

I needed this gentle but powerful reminder from God because sometimes I get caught up in everything I am able to do in reference to my relationship with God.

I am able to say the right things at the right time. God isn't interested in what I am able to do for Him, He just wants me to pursue a deep and intimate relationship with Him.

This also reminds me of the grace and salvation God provides in my life. When I first came to faith, it wasn't based on ability: what I was able to do for Him. He just wanted me. And I came, broken.

Everyday I want the plea of my heart to long to commune with God and not be competent for Him.

It is such a simple concept, but it has changed my perspective on my relationship with God.

All for His glory,

Always <3

Secrets

When I leave to go back to IWU in 3+ months, my prayer is that I would be in a different place spiritually. That has always been my prayer. I can never get enough of God.

I don't say that to seem "super" spiritual- rather it's the cry of my heart. But how much can I really say that will be enough to tell the world how much God has changed me?

All of my words will never reach the point of adequately telling my friends about what God has done in me. Do you have a close friendship with someone that you only feel comfortable telling them your secrets?

That is how I feel about my relationship with God sometimes- some things He does in my life are so close and intimate- I can't tell people.

That sounds weird but it's so true.

When I first came to IWU as a freshman (I'm going to be a Senior this coming September), I was the type that was always super excited spiritually I could hardly keep it to myself- but I've toned it down. I'm still pursuing the heart of God but at a much slower pace- I just take one day at a time.

Within the last couple years events have happened in my life that have caused me to evaluate situations- there is a time and a place to share what God is doing in me. I won't be silent- I will testify- but at times that are appropriate.

I hope you don't misunderstand what I'm trying to say- I'm definitely not ashamed about what I believe.

I just demonstrate tact in my life.

All for His glory :-)