The Beauty of Surrender

Surrendering to God is never easy. I fight and fight against what I want instead of what He desires. So what is the solution? What is the key to surrender?

The key to surrender (which leads to peace) is authority: knowing God is who He says He is. Also, peace comes from an active, ongoing, and obedient relationship with God. In order to have complete peace, I must surrender everything to Him. (Luke 14:33) This becomes a reality when I find delight in Him.

 Psalm 37:4 states Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

When I am happy in God, when He satisfies my soul more than anything, and when I am content in Him, God will provide me what I want the most for He satisfies me more than anything.

There is peace and beauty in surrendering to God, but He can't take something that isn't surrendered to Him.

I believe surrender is laying down my pride and control and saying, "God, You are strong enough to take this." I must replace feelings of pride with humility.

That is my prayer: to live a surrendered life and that happens every moment where He is center to everything in me.

3 Types of Faith

Lately God has been calling me out of a life of comfort. He has revealed to me 3 different types of faith that may serve as hinderances in my relationship with Him.

The first one is complacent faith, which is essentially being satisfied with where I am in my relationship. It's stagnation: not wanting to move farther but not wanting to move closer either. It's just staying in the same place because it's comfortable.

The next one is mediocre faith which is just average and common faith. This faith just kind of blends in with everyone else's. There is nothing special about mediocrity. It's just getting by.

Both complacent and mediocre faith God has brought me through. It's the last one that God just revealed to me tonight.

And that is convenient faith. If I am busy with homework, friends, etc. I put a halt to my growth. I don't go out of my way to make spiritual growth a priority.

God doesn't call me to any of these types of faith. But rather one that not only can change my life, but the people around me as well.

That's the topic for my next post...

So check back!

All for HIS glory + Always <3

Complacent

I feel lately I have been all over the place in my spiritual life. First, I struggled with fear (which I still do), now I'm struggling with complacency.

The spiritual life is never boring. God is revealing aspects of my life that I wanted to keep beneath the surface. The darkness of my life is always overshadowed by the light God provides to me.

Honestly, I'm comfortable where I am in my relationship with Him: I don't want to move farther yet I don't want to move closer.

Stagnation is what I want. It's easy. No changes are needed. A life of comfort.

That would be nice because then I wouldn't have to deal with parts of me that are displeasing to God.

God calls me to something much more than just a state of complacency. I must be willing first. And when I'm not, I'm just hurting myself. I know God is stronger than my lack of willingness and his ways will always prevail over mine.

I don't know how I got to this point because this past May I prayed that I would become lost in God. Now I don't know what that meant. The reason I prayed that is because I had just finished my Junior year at IWU and I had been freed from myself. I wanted to be taken deeper. Lost in God seemed like the right direction. Looking back, I seem to becoming lost in God, because I don't know where I am going from a spiritual perspective.

God has worked in my life in so many ways that I can never turn the other way. But, in this moment, I am struggling with complacency and fear.

I love how I can never be in a place where God won't rescue me or teach me something that will bring me even closer to Him.

I'm in His heart. His heart is in mine.

I can't deny that.

So until next time,

All for HIS glory + always <3 

The Way it was Meant to Be

This summer is coming to a rapid end....

Sad. :-(

I leave to go back to IWU a week from this Saturday (September 3rd).

But I have had a lot of time to read, journal, and grow spiritually.

Most importantly, I had time to reflect on how much growth has taken place during this past year. Last year, at this time, I was struggling with sexual temptation that  turned into a vicious cycle that I couldn't break free from if it wasn't for God's help.

For several months, I was a slave to what I wanted, I didn't see that my actions were harming my relationship with God.

My sin was breaking God's heart and I was in a bad place.

I was trapped.

A year later, now, I am in an amazing place in my relationship with God. I have seen healing. Praise God!!!

Also, I am learning about God's love, sin, and how I am meant to live in harmony with God. There's a Hebrew word Karem meaning "healing", "remaking", "returning something to its intended purpose." (A Christianity Worth Believing p. 159). I have seen firsthand what being healed and remade truly means for the Christian. I have been "returned to my intended purpose" which is to love out loud.

Love is the way God chose for us.

How could we possibly go any other way?

Because when we love, we see humanity being healed, remade, and returning to what it was intentionally for.

All for His glory + Always <3

An Open Heart

This is a random post. I'm bored and I don't have much to do :(

I am doing what is called "free writing". What does it mean to possess an open heart toward God, to truly and intimately know Him not just know OF Him?

I no longer work at that job, Vector Marketing, so I have more time on my hands. I could spend that time journaling and cultivating a deep relationship with God because I long for intimacy.

Instead, it seems that I do anything but spend time with God, the One who freed my soul. I ask myself "why is it that when I'm at school, I want to do my devotions but have no time but when I'm home and have absolutely nothing to do, I don't spend time in devotions?"

I reflect on where I was 3 years ago: I was apathetic in my relationship with God and had a closed heart towards Him.

Now I have an open heart to Him, but there is something inside me that lacks motivation to cultivate a deeper level of intimacy with Him.

I have time to sort this out and to gain back motivation to study His word and gain strength in faith.

All for His glory

Free

The semester is over and I'm back at home :-) But my semester ended in the most amazing way.

Over the course of the semester I prayed "free me from myself"

I didn't even know what that meant.

I AM free!

Yes, that is true but I was in spiritual slavery without fully knowing it.

A couple nights ago I had a dream that seemed really similar to what I began to go through at around this time last year. I woke up and thought "never again." I also thought about how I had the mindset that said "I'm still going through this" and then I stopped and thought "wait. no I'm not."

God freed me from it but at the same time it was holding me back from moving forward in my relationship with God.

Then late last night I had the realization that the sin I went through is behind me; God freed me from myself.

I can't explain it but it was something only God could do. Simply put, I'm no longer bound what I had done; He freed me!

peace-