Complacent

I feel lately I have been all over the place in my spiritual life. First, I struggled with fear (which I still do), now I'm struggling with complacency.

The spiritual life is never boring. God is revealing aspects of my life that I wanted to keep beneath the surface. The darkness of my life is always overshadowed by the light God provides to me.

Honestly, I'm comfortable where I am in my relationship with Him: I don't want to move farther yet I don't want to move closer.

Stagnation is what I want. It's easy. No changes are needed. A life of comfort.

That would be nice because then I wouldn't have to deal with parts of me that are displeasing to God.

God calls me to something much more than just a state of complacency. I must be willing first. And when I'm not, I'm just hurting myself. I know God is stronger than my lack of willingness and his ways will always prevail over mine.

I don't know how I got to this point because this past May I prayed that I would become lost in God. Now I don't know what that meant. The reason I prayed that is because I had just finished my Junior year at IWU and I had been freed from myself. I wanted to be taken deeper. Lost in God seemed like the right direction. Looking back, I seem to becoming lost in God, because I don't know where I am going from a spiritual perspective.

God has worked in my life in so many ways that I can never turn the other way. But, in this moment, I am struggling with complacency and fear.

I love how I can never be in a place where God won't rescue me or teach me something that will bring me even closer to Him.

I'm in His heart. His heart is in mine.

I can't deny that.

So until next time,

All for HIS glory + always <3