Consumed

The following is an excerpt from my journal in July 2005:

"Do any of us know where we're going?

As in, throughout this life? I don't know about anyone else but I'm aware my life isn't my own, it's God's, so it makes perfect sense that I would (and want) to live my life for Him alone.

He (God) never said the journey would be easy, he just said that if anyone would come after Jesus they must deny themselves (meaning their wants, needs, aspirations, dreams, etc.) and take up their cross and follow Him. Although, it's hard sometimes, I will continue to follow Him all the days of my life. To put it another way: it's much easier for me to let go and put all my trust in God, my creator. He knows where I need to go (and where I don't).

Another bite of food for thought:

Sometimes we say we love God yet we don't trust in Him completely. Honestly, when we rely only on ourselves, what good are we actually doing to our spiritual health?

The point I'm trying to make is don't lean on your own understanding. Just trust God. Eventually everything will fall into place. Even though I may question faith by asking, what's the point to all this that I can't see? sometimes, I will live my life for God. Nothing else is worthy to consume me." (edited)

Now it's October 2012 and I said back then that I want God to consume me. Not just aspects of me, but all of me. To say much has changed is an understatement. I rely on myself to get me through each day. I don't look toward God. I am consumed with everything else except Him. That needs to change before I come to spiritual ruin.

For HIS renown,

~Susie