There and Back Again

Last May I got into some things that I shouldn't have in regards to relationships. To make a long story short, I was talking inappropriately to guys as a way for me to deal with some pain. I kept saying "I'll be able to see myself out of it. No problem." Then I would just run back into the same thing over and over again.

I was held in my own personal captivity that I thought I would never be free from. I was in this captivity for months when I finally fell. I had a mindset that said, "I have only one life. I want to do whatever I want." So I put myself in a situation where I went too far.

This was a week before Christmas. My thoughts led me to believe I needed to rely on myself to get out of this sin that held me captive.

I also had the perspective that my strength would be enough for me to break free from my captivity and sin. It wasn't.

So Christmas day approached and my perspective changed completely.

I wrote in my journal: "Christmas is about Jesus' presence in my life. I have only one life to live completely for God."

That hit me. Hard.

I then realized I could never rely on my human strength to get me out of sin that lingered for nearly a year. I journaled a prayer asking God to give me the strength to overcome this. He did. He set me free from everything that dragged me down.

Then I came back to IWU. I was paranoid everyone was going to be judgmental of me. No one was. Everyone was like, "whatever." I thought my friends would be asking, "What happened to you?" And my response will be, "God happened."

I am completely amazed at the work God did in my life. I was in all this sin that I thought I would never see the end of and God pulled me out of it.

God taught me to rely on His strength, not my own.

I also want to share what I recently wrote in my journal: "The weaknesses of this life lead me straight to God. In Him is strength that continues daily. Apart from Him is only my strength, which in reality, is really weakness."

I want you to be encouraged that the strength of God can break chains of captivity that human strength never could.

peace-

Christmas Break is finally here! :-)

I made it through another semester. I survived two of my more difficult classes: Research Methods and Communication Theory.

I enjoy school but I'm glad Christmas break is here.

After a hard semester, I need Christmas break to refocus my life on God and growing in Him.

I know I have made some unhealthy decisions regarding relationships; I know God loves me unconditionally.

 I have 3 weeks to just do my devotions hardcore and really seek God out.

I need Him to satisfy me and sometimes I seek it in the wrong places.

So, goodbye for now.

It's time to go journal :-)

peace,