just let God in

I am afraid.

I fear letting God in to see all of me.

There are walls around my heart that I pretend don't exist. But denying something changes nothing. It doesn't solve the problem. If anything, it makes the problem worse. 

Ever since I was in high school, I feared intimacy with God. That's all. 

That's the story of my life. 

Growth will lead to intimacy. When I crave intimacy, I am wanting to grow. 

But I am logical and practical above spiritual. 

My spiritual life is always last. I don't give any thought to it. What's the point? 

As long as I'm not struggling with anything, then I'm doing alright. 

I need to get to the point where I just let God in. 

All for HIS glory-