the importance of trust

I learned many lessons while a student at Indiana Wesleyan University (IWU). I learned the value of friendships, hard work (academic). A couple of my courses were difficult but I made it through.

Above all, I learned the importance of trust in the context of friendships. I learned that opening up to my peers when I should remain quiet is not without it’s consequences.  The summer between my Junior year I began to make some decisions that would be damaging to me and those around me.  I lived on campus so I felt I could be open about my struggles and what I said would remain between my friends and I.

I was wrong. I had a parent/child relationship with my roommate. She always said “You’re not ready for a relationship” and constantly criticizing me for my decisions. I took responsibility for my decisions and by no means placing the blame on her. But I was in a bad place and the last thing I needed was someone coming across as critical and judgmental. After all as Christians, aren’t we supposed to be loving and accepting despite another’s decisions?

Things only escalated in my senior (and last) semester as a student. Near the end of the fall 2012 semester, I was caught by surprise with an email from Student Development. I then knew what had happened. My roommate told my resident assistant (RA) about me and my situation when I trusted her not to say anything. When I confronted her, she said, “I told once. Why wouldn’t I tell again?” She had violated my trust.

I was left hurt and unable to trust her with private details of my life. I built trust with her and it only took a second for her to destroy it.

Through that experience, I learned the importance of trust in relationships. Just because I felt I could trust her, she proved me wrong. Now I’m cautious about what I share with those around me. I tell people what I feel they want to know: to make me sound like I’m strong.