A Vain Attempt

For the last few weeks, I have been growing spiritually very quickly. It seemed I couldn't get enough of God. I was doing my devotions daily.

It was great! I felt all these intense emotions (excitement, fear, reluctance, etc.).

Then it all came to a crashing halt.

Earlier this week, I had an appointment with One Mission Society (a missions organization) for a possible service trip to Ireland.

The appointment was canceled and I was discouraged, frustrated, and disappointed.

I then felt everything I was learning was a vain attempt to reach God, which I can never do.

I sought to please Him with how I "religious" I could be.

That's wrong.

That's sin.

God showed in a painful way exactly what I don't want:

~mediocre

~complacent

~superficial

~comfortable Christianity

I want real Christianity. I want Jesus, not anything else.

I then asked a question, "can I leave my emotions out of spiritual growth?"

Emotions change quickly, I can't depend on them to fuel my growth in God.

I know God sees past all my emotional highs as it relates to faith and growth in Him.

I'm guilty of being how I always complain about when Summit week approaches. I always say, "I want more than a spiritual/emotional high. I want God to wholly transform my life."

I just spent two (2) weeks (or longer) on a spiritual high.

I know now when all the emotions are gone, all is left is a vain attempt to grow stronger in faith.