Freedom in Risks

Before I came back to IWU for the spring semester I realized something changed how I view my relationship with God. I wrote in my journal: "God is bigger than my life."

I didn't realize the significance of that single statement:

God is bigger than my life.

Then the statement I wrote began to convict me. How often do I limit God because of my own insecurities?

I get motivated to do something I care deeply about and before I know it I think, "I could never do that" or "Someone else can do it." And I get discouraged before I even start anything.

Then I began to process the scope of God and me.

I'm nothing in comparison to God.

But the amazing thing is He turns me into something He values.

Because I know I am valuable in His sight, I began to think, "God is in everything I do that is within His will."

Wow.

I can be confident that God is in everything I do when I seek to ask, "God what is your place in this?"

This applies right now.

About a month ago I submitted my resume to "Reach your City" which I wrote about in my last post. I hadn't heard back so I was motivated to call them and see what was going on with my resume and if they had made a decision regarding my resume.

That involved a risk.

I'm learning if I truly want to live by faith I must take risks.

I believe there are freedoms in the risks I take in faith, knowing God will see me through to what is best for me. Although, I may not see it right away.

I keep going...because there is freedom in risks.

peace-

Nashville

It's late (sort of) and I should be studying, not writing my blog.

But I have some things on my heart that I wanted to share.

For the last few years (since 2007) I have wanted to go into music promotion (booking bands and scheduling concerts). Since high school I've had a passion for music and now I was determined to pursue it as my career :-)

This past summer I researched music promotion jobs and there all in Nashville. When I think of the city of Nashville, I automatically think of country music.

Not exactly the place I would ever feel called to go.

Well, I wrote in my journal last July (I think) committing the possibility of moving to Nashville to prayer.

I don't think about it that often. Honestly I'm not obsessed or anything about going to Tennessee or Nashville.

I'm open to going anywhere.

So last week I got this random email from "Reach Your City" an outreach organization based in, you guessed it, Nashville, which I think was completely God-sent. I thought, I wonder if they offer summer internships.

They do.

So I applied for an internship this summer.

I might be going to Nashville and whenever I think about that, I get crazy excited.

I'm waiting to hear back and my fingers are crossed.

peace-

There and Back Again

Last May I got into some things that I shouldn't have in regards to relationships. To make a long story short, I was talking inappropriately to guys as a way for me to deal with some pain. I kept saying "I'll be able to see myself out of it. No problem." Then I would just run back into the same thing over and over again.

I was held in my own personal captivity that I thought I would never be free from. I was in this captivity for months when I finally fell. I had a mindset that said, "I have only one life. I want to do whatever I want." So I put myself in a situation where I went too far.

This was a week before Christmas. My thoughts led me to believe I needed to rely on myself to get out of this sin that held me captive.

I also had the perspective that my strength would be enough for me to break free from my captivity and sin. It wasn't.

So Christmas day approached and my perspective changed completely.

I wrote in my journal: "Christmas is about Jesus' presence in my life. I have only one life to live completely for God."

That hit me. Hard.

I then realized I could never rely on my human strength to get me out of sin that lingered for nearly a year. I journaled a prayer asking God to give me the strength to overcome this. He did. He set me free from everything that dragged me down.

Then I came back to IWU. I was paranoid everyone was going to be judgmental of me. No one was. Everyone was like, "whatever." I thought my friends would be asking, "What happened to you?" And my response will be, "God happened."

I am completely amazed at the work God did in my life. I was in all this sin that I thought I would never see the end of and God pulled me out of it.

God taught me to rely on His strength, not my own.

I also want to share what I recently wrote in my journal: "The weaknesses of this life lead me straight to God. In Him is strength that continues daily. Apart from Him is only my strength, which in reality, is really weakness."

I want you to be encouraged that the strength of God can break chains of captivity that human strength never could.

peace-

Water Sources

Last time I wrote about Summit and how the speaker spoke on water sources. Well, I kept learning that the week following Summit.

Isaiah 12:3 states "With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation."

The key phrase that stuck out to me is "...wells of salvation," the key word being "wells."

Then I realized I must dig deep in order to get water stored in wells. Also, "water" is metaphoric. When I make an effort, I will draw "water" from deep within where salvation is rich, pure, and constant. With wells, I can't see the depth, how far they go. The same is true with my relationship with God: I can never see how deep I can possibly go.

Going along with "water" I'm reading this book by Neil T. Anderson, "Victory Over the Darkness" and a phrase caught my attention: "spiritual growth in the Christian life requires a relationship with God who is the fountain of spiritual life..." This re-emphasized the focus of Summit: how I need to be a "drinking fountain" Christian.

Psalm 36:9 also came to mind: "For with you is the fountain of life, in your light we see light."

In those times when I'm "spiritually" thirsty, all I need to do is look toward God who will satisfy my soul. I have found that the more God reveals to me, the deeper I go.

I also asked, "what is significant about God being the "fountain of spiritual life?"

Fountains are consistent, purifying, and constant. I can go to a fountain (and approach God) at any time and be completely satisfied. This amazes me.

The truth spoken at Summit flooded into my life long after the week ended. I'm a Communication Studies major where I recently learned about marketing and "branding."

That also applied to my devotional life: I had an image ("brand") of fountains stuck in my head and I love it.

Eventually I will move on to a different image but for now I'll enjoy this image of fountains.

Peace :-)

Spring Summit 2011

A "summit" is the highest point or degree.

That's an obvious definition. When someone says the word "summit," I automatically think of a mountain's peak.

This past week (January 17th-19th) was IWU's spiritual emphasis week (Summit). I have attended many Summits, this one was by far the most life changing.

The speaker challenged me in many areas.

First off, going into Summit week I wrote this in my journal: "Summit is on the brink...no matter what happens, no matter how God works this coming week, it changes nothing about the nature and character of God. Let it not be about the "experience" or "spiritual high" but also the lasting change He would bring upon our lives. I wanted Summit to be all for the glory of God. "

Summit truly was all for his glory.

I could write about past Summits but that is irrelevant now.

One of the services was from Ephesians 4:29:

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen."

This is one of those verses I try to live by. I want to encourage others by what I say.

I also learned about being low and humble before a holy God. Every day I can walk in pride or humility.

Another thing I learned was 5 life patterns to live by:

1) chastity: learn to control our physical appetites to glorify God. This is not just about sex, but all our physical appetites.

2) poverty: Learn to hold on to our earthly possessions lightly.

3) obedience: Respect and submit to those in authority over us.

4) stability: Be content in the place God has put us. Let's stop and ask God where he wants us to be.

5) conversion of manners: Live in such a way that our faith in Christ is evident to others.

"pray and work"

The last Summit service was on water sources and how they can relate to the types of Christians there are.

"What if the thirsty world came to you looking for a drink...what kind of living water would you be?"

"Downspout Christians"

-gushes during showers of blessing

-but goes dry when the heat's on, never really available when thirsty people need it.

The problem with this is inconsistency.

"Swamp Christians"

-once filled with fresh living water

-now the water is old and stagnant

-a breeding ground for "creepy crawlies"

-not appealing to a thirsty world.

The problem with this is stagnation and impurity.

"Water pump Christians"

-living water is there and it's pure

-but it's buried deep beneath the surface.

-available only on demand

-requires effort by others to get it.

The problem with this is inaccessibility.

and finally,

"Drinking fountain Christians"

-The living water is there

-It flows freely from one's life

-fresh and pure each day

-constant and consistent

-satisfies the thirst of others

The blessing is purity and consistency.

God brought conviction in my life through this service:

I'm a "hidden" Christian where I keep what I'm learning beneath the surface because I care what others think of me. I also think, "Do they really need to know how I'm growing?" So I just keep it locked up inside me. The water is starting to flow again...

I wrote this in my journal too: "The world is thirsty for grace, for something real.

God is real. He is alive in millions of people across the world. Christians are the "drinking fountains" of the earth.

One thing I appreciated about this past summit was that it was real and I'm still reflecting on what I learned.

I'm still climbing down from the "Summit" peak and I want to be consistently growing in my life with God so that it brings satisfaction to those around me.

peace-

Time

With a new year brings new years resolutions.

I'm not the one to make them because I usually can't commit to them for longer than a week.

But today I actually thought of one I won't have trouble keeping and that is to spend more time in devotions.

I know God rewards time I spend with Him so why don't I spend as much time as I need?

I do my "quiet time" for ten minutes and I think "ok. I'm done." I almost feel as though I have something better to do.

I have less than a week until I head back to IWU for the Spring semester and, once again, I'm going to be crazy busy with reading assignments, writing papers, etc. and then I'll have an excuse for not doing them (meaning devotions)

I also know God has heard every excuse:

"I have to write this paper."

"I'm too tired."

"I have to read this chapter."

The list goes on.

If I'm serious about pursuing God's heart, I won't make excuses. My schedule will be centered on God, not vice versa.

I know it will be a struggle.

But I also know God is stronger than struggles.

He revealed to me that the amount of time I put into devotions reflects how strong my faith is.

peace-

Happy New Year :-)

Happy 2011!

this is going to be a good year.

I already know it!

My prayer for this year is that I would live by Matthew 6:33: I would seek God first in everything.

Everything else will follow :-)

One of the things I want to do more this year is I want to journal: I want to just write prayers down and reflect on how God has worked and is working now.

peace-