Reach Higher Go Deeper

I am being pulled in deeper in my walk with God. I grow "hardcore" for a while then suddenly I think "I'm getting too close to God." I need to stop spending time with Him.

So I do.

I know that sounds horrible. How can one be "too close" to God? It's not that I'm getting too close to Him. It's more that I can't have both worlds: I can't live for "earthly" things and still pursue Him.

In the core of who I am I sense God wants me to reach higher in pursuit of Him and go deeper in intimacy.

I have fear of what people will think of me if I truly let go of the world and recklessly pursue Him. How would my life change if I did just that?

How would my life change if I continued to live for all that is temporary?

I need to let go of the world and go after Him with everything in me. I don't have the strength to. I pray He would give me the strength to let go.

For HIS renown,

~Susie

Religion vs. Spirituality

For the last few months, God has been teaching me about everything I don't want:

~Apathetic

~Complacent

~Comfortable

~False

~Mediocre

~Superficial Christianity.

Sometimes I have to rule out everything that is unappealing so I know what I do want.

What do I want? What does God want from me?

I believe He wants real spirituality; a relationship where I can be honest with Him and don't feel as though I have to put on a performance.

A couple nights ago I felt suffucated because of all the religion I'm around. I couldn't breathe. God spoke into my heart and I knew I didn't have to "act" a certain way in an effort to impress people at IWU. That is not what God wants.

That's religion.

I believe religion and spirituality are different.

When I think of religion, thoughts narrow to Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Christianity etc. Also, religion is man made and comes from outside sources: Mosques, Temples, Churches, etc.

Spirituality, in contrast, comes from within a person. I was created to be spiritual: my soul united with the Spirit of God. (John 4:24) That is God in me- not religion. I could care less about religion. I grow deeper and stronger in faith by the work of His Spirit in me.

In closing, I've heard the expression, "I'm gonna push my religion on you" and "I feel as though they're shoving religion down my throat." It's unappealing and people are turned off by that kind of evangelism.

Reverse that. No one says "I'm gonna push my spirituality on you" or "I feel as though they're shoving spirituality down my throat." That makes no logical sense. Honestly, it sounds kind of stupid.

There is something attractive about spirituality and being spiritual, rather than being religious.

I don't want to be labeled as "religious." When people look at my life, I want them to see that I'm "spiritual."

For HIS renown,

~Susie

The Reality of God

Summit concluded last night. Since my Freshman year, I have attended because the majority of IWU students go.

I conform. I feel I'm a bad Christian if I don't attend.

Last night I was at Summit for about 10 minutes when I thought I didn't want to be there. So I left.

I had the wrong motivation to go and I didn't want to be forced to be there.

God was in that night and I had an opportunity to have a productive conversation with a couple girls who live in the townhouses.

I talked to them about how I am deeply intimate with God but I seek superficiality in my friendships and relationships simply because I don't trust people.

If God is truly calling me to a speaker for this generation, I must move beyond my fear of being vulnerable and transparent.

I must let people in: to see where I truly am.

That is difficult. I don't want people to see my struggles, to see me in my weakness. All I want them to see is how I am strong in God.

That's all they really need to know. My relationship with God is private and as long as I'm doing okay, then I have no reason to share what God is doing in me.

The fact is, I'm crazy passionate and I want everyone to see that but I don't want (or haven't found a way) to vocalize what God is doing in my life.

For HIS renown,

~Susie