Love Came Down

Today I celebrate my Savior's birth. I admit it's easy to get caught up in all the commercialism and materialism of the holiday season.

But this year my thoughts circle around how I remember how God came down to our world many years ago in the form of a baby. He walked among us so we could have life.

Love came down.

That statement humbles me beyond anything. The God of the universe, who created sky, oceans, stars, came down to our dark world so we would be made right with him.

A perfect example of how love came down in the form of human flesh.

This gets me thinking about the love of God which surpasses all my knowledge.

No matter what I do or what I'm learning in my relationship with God, it always comes back to love.

Love is the most precious gift the world has known.

Love changes everything.

Love came down to us. Will we open our eyes to see how love is everywhere around us?

All for His glory + always <3

Profound

I can breathe again.

*Sigh*

Finals are over and I have been officially on Christmas break for a week. Yay!

I want to be honest. When I am at IWU, there are other students who inspire and encourage me to dig deeper and find a faith that defines my life. Over the past 3 1/2 years, I have seen students' model faith that I want desperately. I think to myself, "If only I could have the type of faith they have. It would be amazing."

Now after much searching, prayer, and pleading, God has finally given me the type of faith I have been after for so long. And now that I possess it, I want everyone else to reach the point in their spiritual lives that faith they have wouldn't have to be sought in their friends, pastors, etc., rather it would live deep within them.

I confess getting to this point is hard work and doesn't just "happen."  One of the passions of my life is to see people grow into a type of faith that can't be contained, that isn't safe. It consumes who they are and they won't stop until everyone around them has witnessed that faith.

My prayer for IWU for the Spring semester is that we, as a student body, would move into a crazy passionate faith.

All for HIS glory + always <3

Everything I'm Striving for I'm Not Seeing

Up until this point, I lived in a way that reflected my heart and the desire to seek God, to truly live with Him.

Now life has gotten in the way. Finals week has approached and I make myself be busy to distract me from the call of God, to continue spending time with Him.

Everything I had, everything I wanted, is it gone? Beyond my reach?

I lived in the presence of God. It was intense. Have I lost it all because of fear? Fear that God has called me out of a mediocre life, out of everything I have ever known.

I don't know what any of this means but I just want to push everything out of the way so I just spend my life, daily, in pursuit of a passionate lfe, for His renown.

I want to get everything out there so that it's not in me any longer.

I want to be truly free to go with God: no matter where He's leading me.

All for His glory + <3

Passionate Faith

I wrote on complacent, mediocre, and convenient faith on my previous post.

God has shown me alot lately what it means to be passionate for Him. The more I spend with Him, the more passion grows in me to the point of overflowing.

What is more,  the passion for God has become the driving force of my life. One thing is for sure. Passion isn't an emotion. When someone is passionate, it shines from their life. They don't have to say a word.

It radiates from their life.

That is what I cling to. Right now. Today. It's all I have.

All for His glory

3 Types of Faith

Lately God has been calling me out of a life of comfort. He has revealed to me 3 different types of faith that may serve as hinderances in my relationship with Him.

The first one is complacent faith, which is essentially being satisfied with where I am in my relationship. It's stagnation: not wanting to move farther but not wanting to move closer either. It's just staying in the same place because it's comfortable.

The next one is mediocre faith which is just average and common faith. This faith just kind of blends in with everyone else's. There is nothing special about mediocrity. It's just getting by.

Both complacent and mediocre faith God has brought me through. It's the last one that God just revealed to me tonight.

And that is convenient faith. If I am busy with homework, friends, etc. I put a halt to my growth. I don't go out of my way to make spiritual growth a priority.

God doesn't call me to any of these types of faith. But rather one that not only can change my life, but the people around me as well.

That's the topic for my next post...

So check back!

All for HIS glory + Always <3

AWAKE

It's that time of year again.

I'm home for Thanksgiving break and instead of posting what I'm thankful for, I want to reflect on something completely different.

Last Friday night I got an email from this organization PULSE movement, who promotes and organizes outreach events for college students at state universities. This specific event was held at the University of Minnesota (Twin Cities campus). When I read the email that listed prayer requests for the event, my heart broke.

At the same time, something clicked. Why was I sleeping (in the metaphorical sense) when I should be awake?  I don't want to be "asleep" to all God does in the world. I want to be awake to His work in the world.

 I have attended IWU for the past 3 years. While I love my school; it breaks my heart to see the spiritual climate dwindling. As a student, I am required to attend chapel 3 times a week. This is sad to admit but my freshman year, I loved chapel; it refreshed my soul and encouraged me to pursue God and His heart.

Now 3 years later, I no longer depend on chapel for growth. I depend on my own personal devotion time. The issue I have with chapel are the speakers are random; I don't see how their topics are relevant to my life right now.

I don't mean to "bash" chapel; I appreciate their efforts. I just think and ask myself, "Is there anything more than this? and "What has happened to all the passion in our faith?"

Then I thought back to the outreach event held at the University of Minnesota. I thought how a large number of people might be reached for the Gospel, how God has the power to move at at state university.

And here I am. At a small private Christian university; where we should be passionate about what we believe in and not rest until everyone hears about a love that goes beyond what they know.

I'm not saying there aren't any on campus; I just don't see it.

That brings me to where I am right now in life.

God has called me out of mediocrity into a life of crazy passion of Him and His renown. It has taken me so long to reach this place in my life with God. I am now AWAKE.

I won't go back to "sleep" until the world hears about a love that changes their life.

All for HIS glory + ALWAYS <3

Direction and Calling

As a teenager in youth group, I loved the speakers at the retreats I attended. Afterward I thought, "He/She was so amazing" or "I really resonated with their message." However, I never gave a second thought to what went into delivering a message with conviction, honesty, and boldness.

Fast forward to my senior year of college. I am a Communication Studies major who recently had a direction shift from wanting to go into the music industry to going into outreach ministry.

This was quite a change for me (obviously). I thought "outreach ministry? That shouldn't be too hard, planning events for teenagers and young adults (college age)." But God took it a step further. I feel He is calling me to be an evangelistic speaker to teens and young adults.

My initial reaction was "Ha! What God? This is completely not me." I still feel that this calling isn't real, for some reason.

I am NOT a public speaker. I would rather be in the background than upfront.

But I'm at the point in my life where it's all about God, I'm sold out to Him and I can't deny whatever He's calling me to.

So if He is legitimately calling me to rise up and declare His faithfulness to the next generation, who am I to question it? I just go with Him as He leads. Every day.

All for HIS glory + Always <3

Say Yes

For the past four years, all I could talk about was going into the music industry because I said "music is my passion" and I wanted to pursue it as a career.

Yeah, I had ulterior motives. You see, it was all about me, what I wanted for my life.

Well now my senior year of college after a few months of praying, God changing and revealing things about me that have been hidden in the dark for so long, they are finally in His light and I can no longer deny what He has called me to: outreach ministry.

I would love to do events specializing in youth. At this point, I have no clue what outreach ministry means for me. All I know is that I am saying yes to Him.

I am surrendered to His will. It's all for Him.

All for His glory + Always <3

Amazing Faith

Faith is as deep as I want it to be. I keep prayer journals kind of obsessively. I have realized that everytime I open my Bible and write in my journal, God will change me.

The change won't always be immediate and a "spiritual high" type of moment. But I can't stop any sort of change that will come.

I know that is obvious. I was writing in my journal last night that more than anything in life, I want to pursue the heart of God. I want an amzing faith.

Not an "emotional high" type of faith but a life changing amazing faith.

How do I get an amazing faith?

By spending time in the presence of God.

It's a simple concept but if I implement this into my life daily, I will develop an amazing faith.

Then I will be even more in love with God, even more than I am now.

All for His glory + Always <3

From the Grave to Grace

The moment I came into the world, I began to die.

Before I depress you, let me explain.

I was dying not in a physcial sense, rather a spiritual death. I was outside of grace, subject to death, apart from Him who could bring into His abundant life.

Everyone was (and is) meant to live in His life. I recognize there are many cultures and many different religions. I seek to understand those religions that are different from mine.

This breaks my heart that atheism and other religions exist in the world. But they do. What can I do?

I simply live life in the light of God.I don't want to single out any religion because I don't want anyone to single me out because I am a Christian.

I have a testimony to share; nothing and no one can take that away.

People in the world have the freedom to believe in whatever they want.

Love is what motivated Jesus to die in humanity's place. It wasn't religion. The love of God can't be denied. The simple fact is everyone desires to be loved. And because of His great love for me, I went from the grave to life inside His grace.

All for His glory + Always <3

What Can I Say? What Can I Do? [But offer this heart completely to you]

I love God. I love His people.

No doubt that is good.

I'm missing something.

GOD loves ME!!!

I'm not going to lie: I get caught up in the mentality that I need to love God and love others that I forget one crucial aspect to that equation.

Before I even knew Jesus, before I knew God, He loved me.

I need to meditate on that.

The creator of all the world loves me.

His love overwhelms me, breaks me, humbles me.

It is the perfect gift I can never return. His love completes me.

As this popular worship song goes (by Hillsong United): What can I say? What can I do? but offer this heart completely to You. (excerpted from The Stand)

That describes the love of God.

What can I do?

What can I say?

I could say many words as an effort to express the love He has for me.

Except there aren't enough words to say it, to paint an adequate picture of what the love of God does in me. His love will always be enough. I find satisfaction in Him.

His love is beyond measure. When everyone else walks out, God is still there.

I'll leave you with that.

All for HIS glory + Always <3

Love is Stronger

God brought me out of complacency. Completely. Now I can fully move forward with Him. There is ABSOLUTELY nothing standing in the way of me, surrendering to God.

Last night I was doing my devotions and I came across a passage in 2 John that says to walk in obedience and walk in love.

That clicked with me. God and His love is stronger. I also thought about it from a new perspective. God's love is stronger than everything I go through. And He can do amazing things in my life if I am simply willing.

So back to last night.

I thought "God loves me too much to leave me in this satisfied state." Immediately after I wrote that in my journal, my reaction is "It can't be that simple."

But what if it was?

The reality is that it is THAT simple.

Right now I am rejoicing in God and what He has done in me. I have reached a new level. Now I will only grow closer to Him.

My soul is free.

All for HIS glory + always <3

Rise Up and Say No More

So, the last post I wrote was on complacency. By the grace of God, I am slowly moving out of that state. Every day I have to make a conscious effort to not be satisfied where I am in faith; but always keep moving forward.

Change doesn't come overnight. It is a process. At this point in my life, I want to enjoy the relationship I have with God. I want to be the kind of Christian that is excited about all God is doing in the world. I want to spread the passion that is growing in my heart to those around me.

I want to rise up and say no more: to complacency, to contentment, to everything that seeks to drag me down and away from pursuing God above all else.

All for His glory + Always <3

Complacent

I feel lately I have been all over the place in my spiritual life. First, I struggled with fear (which I still do), now I'm struggling with complacency.

The spiritual life is never boring. God is revealing aspects of my life that I wanted to keep beneath the surface. The darkness of my life is always overshadowed by the light God provides to me.

Honestly, I'm comfortable where I am in my relationship with Him: I don't want to move farther yet I don't want to move closer.

Stagnation is what I want. It's easy. No changes are needed. A life of comfort.

That would be nice because then I wouldn't have to deal with parts of me that are displeasing to God.

God calls me to something much more than just a state of complacency. I must be willing first. And when I'm not, I'm just hurting myself. I know God is stronger than my lack of willingness and his ways will always prevail over mine.

I don't know how I got to this point because this past May I prayed that I would become lost in God. Now I don't know what that meant. The reason I prayed that is because I had just finished my Junior year at IWU and I had been freed from myself. I wanted to be taken deeper. Lost in God seemed like the right direction. Looking back, I seem to becoming lost in God, because I don't know where I am going from a spiritual perspective.

God has worked in my life in so many ways that I can never turn the other way. But, in this moment, I am struggling with complacency and fear.

I love how I can never be in a place where God won't rescue me or teach me something that will bring me even closer to Him.

I'm in His heart. His heart is in mine.

I can't deny that.

So until next time,

All for HIS glory + always <3 

Unfounded Fear

I had one day of spiritual refreshment. Now I feel I have ran back to the way I was before. I'm very practical and don't see the productive value in doing my devotions "hardcore."

I love that word, "hardcore," It is an adjective I want to use to describe the relationship I have with God.

But it's not.

I have fear but it's not founded or based on anything except lies.

Unfounded fear.

That will get me nowhere. I want God to break me, but I must have willingness for Him to work. I thought about what would happen if He broke me: I would be humbled, I would face growth, and there would be a level of depth in my relationship.

Anyway, back to the concept of unfounded fear. I don't like that description to define the relationship I have with God.

I need to lose control, that is why I need God to break me, from everything I try to hide behind.

Dear God,

I realize I have unfounded fear that is based on absolutely nothing. I can't make something out of nothing. So here I am. Take all of me. Create in me a willing heart. A heart that longs to be broken for You, for everything You have for me.

Amen

On Solitude and Escaping Chaos

Yesterday I went to Salamone Reservoir located about 20 minutes from the IWU campus. Now I want to get one thing out there.

I am not one to venture out of my "comfort zone" often. But I felt that I was staying in a spiritual slump and needed to do something that wasn't routine for me. More importantly, I felt that God was leading me to go spend time in solitude with him.

As I reflect on my time alone with God, I realize that the things He revealed to me could only happen when I got away.

My spiritual self has been renewed and I feel I have recommitted myself with God. I LOVE that!!!

Key verses God revealed to me were 1 Corinthians 6:19 and Psalm 84:5 which says:

"Blessed are those whose strength is in you,

who have set their hearts on pilgrimage." (italics added)

The phrase "...set their hearts on pilgrimage." really convicted me for two reasons:

1) I like the language used. "pilgrimage" essentially means journey.

AND

2) The people of this day set their hearts on the journey toward God. They had an assurance that God would be with them throughout their journey.

This got me thinking about my own spiritual journey. I hate to confess this but my mind is what leads my journey with God most of the time. Instead of letting go, and saying, "my heart is going to lead the life I have with God", I think, "how practical is spending time in devotions when I have all this other stuff going on around me?"

During this time of solitude God revealed (and I received): my heart cries out for God, but my mind drowns those cries out by logic. I then prayed that my heart would learn to listen to the voice of God. I asked a hard question, Why is hard to be led unswervingly by my heart? I'm logical and want to analyze everything.

This isn't what I was created for, to be hard on myself because the voices in my mind won't shut up. The plea of my heart is to be completely open to Him and spend much needed time with Him, because He quiets everything in me when all there is chaos.

With all this said, I have a new perspective on solitude and being alone with God. Sometimes when I take time for myself, God reveals things that normally would stay buried deep within the surface of my life.

All for HIS glory + Always <3

Take Comfort in the Fact

Last night was interesting for me. I was doing my devotions and God made it clear that I am to wait for Him.

That is abstract. Wait for Him to do what exactly?

I don't need to bore you with the details as to how God has moved in my life since I've been a student here at IWU.

All I know is that I am not the same person I was when I started here three years ago.

I'll put it simply: God has moved in my life in tremendous ways.

Now I feel I am resting, waiting for Him to work.

I can take comfort in the fact that although I have yet to see what He is going to do in me, I can be comforted that God is always with me, through everything.

All for His glory + always <3

Just Wait

Spiritual growth can be intense.

That is an understatement.

I am used to God working in my life quickly, one thing after another. And when I was far from Him, when I was going my own way, God waited for me.

Now it's reversed. I must wait for Him.

Psalm 27:14 states, "Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."

The call is simple.

Wait.

I HATE waiting. When I'm at a store, I always look for the shortest line so I'm in and out. I'll be honest: I'm not the most patient person.

I am called by God to be patient. God was patient with me.

At this time in my spiritual life, I must wait for God.

That is my prayer in this moment.

All for His glory + Always <3

Spiritually on Fire

It is more than evident by this blog that I am a Christian. I am not ashamed of what I believe. I just have a different "out of the box" perspective on what my life should look like as a follower of Christ. Things have happened in my life that have forced me to approach my faith from a down low perspective.

Yeah, I'm a Christian but who cares?

Who cares what I believe? Everyone in the world believes, has faith, in someone or something. This all influences how I live out my faith in the world today.

I think about myself more in a day than I ought to. I am caught up in what everyone thinks of my life. I'll be honest: i'm spiritually lacking.

I lack God in my life.

God calls me to be passionate for Him, above everything else. But I'm not. I'm close to finishing my college career at Indiana Wesleyan University. (I have about a year and a half left.) I'm concentrating on leaving college as a legacy, not to the school, but for my own pride.

Yes, in today's world, education is valued. But what about faith?

The faith I possess constantly gets pushed to the back of my mind. Not even doing my devotions is a priority for me. I just skate by.

God calls me to something completely different than what this world can offer me. I'm quoting a Switchfoot song when I say this, "We were meant for so much more. Have we lost ourselves?"

I have lost the spirit of God in me. I think about the world around me, outside of the "bubble" that is IWU. If I'm not passionately on fire for God, why would anyone else desire to be? I have conviction in my life when I say this. Passion starts with me right where I am in my walk with God. In essence, passion for God is contagious: it overflows into others' I am in contact with.

I cling to the promise of God that His spirit would flow down on me, that I wouldn't be spiritually lacking, rather, I would be spiritually on fire.

All for His glory + Always <3

One Heart, One Voice, and One Passion

I am back at IWU.

Yay!

I am excited for what God has for me and the students on this campus this year.

I just got back from Summit and I want to share a passage with you:

"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of your Lord Jesus Christ." ~Romans 15:5-6

Everyone is different but those who are Christians share this in common: we are all one. When we come together as a community, it encourages us and makes us whole. I believe we were (and are) created to do life with others. I pray that the way I carry myself will invite others in, that I won't be so focused on myself that I fail to see the needs around me.

Summit concludes tomorrow and I am expectant as to how God will show up in the lives of my sisters + brothers in Christ.

Always <3 + All for His glory

The Way it was Meant to Be

This summer is coming to a rapid end....

Sad. :-(

I leave to go back to IWU a week from this Saturday (September 3rd).

But I have had a lot of time to read, journal, and grow spiritually.

Most importantly, I had time to reflect on how much growth has taken place during this past year. Last year, at this time, I was struggling with sexual temptation that  turned into a vicious cycle that I couldn't break free from if it wasn't for God's help.

For several months, I was a slave to what I wanted, I didn't see that my actions were harming my relationship with God.

My sin was breaking God's heart and I was in a bad place.

I was trapped.

A year later, now, I am in an amazing place in my relationship with God. I have seen healing. Praise God!!!

Also, I am learning about God's love, sin, and how I am meant to live in harmony with God. There's a Hebrew word Karem meaning "healing", "remaking", "returning something to its intended purpose." (A Christianity Worth Believing p. 159). I have seen firsthand what being healed and remade truly means for the Christian. I have been "returned to my intended purpose" which is to love out loud.

Love is the way God chose for us.

How could we possibly go any other way?

Because when we love, we see humanity being healed, remade, and returning to what it was intentionally for.

All for His glory + Always <3

Intimacy and Involvement

I'm reading "A Christianity Worth Believing" (I mentioned this in a previous post) and the author mentions five qualities that can be seen in ALL things:

1) truth

2) nobility

3) righteousness

4) purity

5) loveliness

All of these are positive and uplifting to society.  There is a quote "...God is present in all things..." that made me think that everything has a spiritual sense to it and can be used to testify God's existence. When I approach life from this perspective, I can indirectly invite others to take in what God has already created.

This leads into 2 types of people that I "label" falsely and unconsciously:

~Inherently godly

AND

~inherently depraved.

To view people as one or the other is wrong and I am guilty of doing this. All people have God inspired goodness; sometimes I fail to see it. This was humbling: I am not better because I am a Christian.

Additionally, the author explains disconnection (what he describes as "up and out") and intimacy and involvement ("down and in"). I looked at my own life and for a long time there was disconnection. Now I'm stepping back into intimacy where I recognize God is actively involved in me. I also realize I am created for noble purposes. When I'm "disconnected" from God, I often feel empty, like there's some part of me that is missing. In contrast, intimacy with God leaves me feeling renewed from within.

All for His glory + Always <3

Five Aspects of Christianity

Lately I've been reading this book, A Christianity Worth Believing: Hope-Filled, Open-Armed, Alive-And-Well Faith for the Left Out, Left Behind, and Let Down in Us All by Doug Pagitt. He raises many different issues and I would reccommend it to both Christians and non Christians. Anyway in chapter 8, "Together Again", He mentions five "aspects" (as I'm referring to them):

1) Repair

2) Restoration

3) Renewal

4) Completion

5) Cohesion

These got me thinking about the essence of Christianity. The God I know longs to repair, restore, and renew humanity. Also, in this chapter, he (Doug Pagitt) mentions the first 3 are what the Gospel is about. And the last two are "goals" of salvation: humanity was meant to be complete and coherent in Him. Every aspect of humanity that was broken is made complete again in Jesus.

Later in the chapter he writes three characteristics about what Christianity was never supposed to be about:

1) Alienation

2) Segregation

3) Disaffection.

I found these a little unsettling. If the Gospel is about restoration and renewal, how would we ever alienate, segregate, or discontent people with religion, not just Christianity?

Reading this hit me hard. I don't want to live out faith that I may not be aware alienates, separates, or discontents the world around me.

I apologize if this post seems "preachy." That was not my intention. My opinion is if I strived to repair, restore, and renew the world around me, the perspective I have would change.

Not everyone is like me or has the same views I do. However, I do know everyone wants to be loved and this is a step in the right direction.

All for His glory + Always <3

Words

I actually pulled this from one of my journals from last year:

There is no argument that words have power, they create worlds in which we live. We are defined by our words.

Words define us and we define words, shaping our world and ideologies.

We are founded by our words and also build our lives around the foundations of words.

Words create worlds.

We can tear our world apart by our words- both spoken and written.

Can we go any place where our words don't follow us? Where they don't come back and haunt us? We can build others up

Tear them down....

We can't run from our words.

This got me thinking about the many words I speak daily.

Maybe whenever I speak or write something, I should consider the impact of my words.

I want to speak in truth, not just the "Christian" sense- but speak what is true. Life is too short to speak words that lie, hurt, cause pain- the list can go on.

More than anything, I want words I speak to bring healing, truth, beauty, Life!!

After all, my words are meant to be all for His glory,

Always <3

Blessings in Every Day

I used to take simple things for granted, for example, family, health, and education. Now I have realized that God blesses me in small ways daily. I just never paid attention.

I need to appreciate family because God has given them to me as a gift from Him. I am here to love them unconditionally. They are a constant in my life when everything around me seems to be changing.

I also have a new appreciation for my health. I am thankful I am not sick, that I woke up today. God gave me life.

Every day there are blessings to be seen and they all are meant to glorify Him.

All for His glory + Always <3

I am the Church

So often I think of church as a building I go to once a week. Oh, but it's so much more than that!!!

The Spirit of God lives inside of me so I represent Him wherever I go. There are many different denominations of churches out there:

~Baptist

~Charismatic

~Evangelical Free

~Lutheran

~Wesleyan :-)

And too many to list.

But since Christ lives inside of me and claim Him as my Savior, why would it matter what "denomination" I am?

I need to be consistently examining my life to make sure my actions match what I believe.

I am the Church.

All for His glory

Send Me

The last couple of summers, in between the academic years at Indiana Wesleyan University [IWU], I faced situations that have served as a chasm for spiritual growth.

In other words, my relationship with God was harmed and I had taken a step back in pursuit of Him. I had to deal with guilt and shame and overcoming fear.

This is the first summer where nothing is in my way of intimacy with God. I just want to be like Isaiah where he tells God, "Here am I. Send me." (Isaiah 6:6) As the story goes, a live coal touched his lips and he was forgiven and purified. This is symbolic to what God does in my life: I must be forgiven and then purified so I may be set apart for His work.

I desire to leave everything behind so I may be completely purified from anything that may separate me from absolute surrender to Him. I just read a passage in the Gospel of Luke that talked about the power of the Spirit. I recognize that I often depend on my power as a way to pursue growth and intimacy with God.

That will never get me far with God. Daily I must rely on His power for everything I need.

Because when I reach that point, I can hold my arms out and say to God, "Here am I. Send me to do Your work anywhere You see." When I reach that place, where I am completely lost in God, He will be glorified.

Always love

All for His glory

Love First

God is love.

If I want to change the world I must love first.

What does it mean to love?

I mean, truly love?

For the last few years, God has been teaching me about what it means in my life to love in the way He does. I also know there are many religions out there:

~Atheism

~Hinduism

~Buddhism, etc.

Why would anyone want to follow just one religion [Christianity] that focuses on just one God?

Because being a Christian means love rests at the center. For me, Christianity always comes back to the concept of love.

In the end, love wins everyone.

Why?

We all desire to be loved.

I think about that and it breaks me that an infinite God chooses to love unconditionally. I can never get away from the thought of love: of the love of God. When I begin to drift from the focus of love-I lose focus on what God is about.

When it comes to love, it is unifying across all peoples. Love isn't about me, it's all  about who God is, and I can't even begin to separate it from everything He is. I am in Him. God gives me the ability to love as He does.

I know this is a longer post than usual but I feel led to share this:

If I am truly a follower of Jesus, I will just love freely- i won't prejudge people on outside appearances. I will just love them for who they are- as a person- kind of what God does to all who know Him.

So if I want to change the world around me, I must love first.

All for His glory + Always love

Control

Up until the last few months, many things that have happened in my life that have served as a catalyst for spiritual growth, have remained in my control.

Situations were personal and, in essence, controlled what happened (or didn't happen) in my life.

Now things have changed. I am dealing with family issues that are outside my control, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. The truth is I can only control my outlook on the circumstances.

Throughout all that my family is going through, I remember the Bible verse Romans 8:28 which says "God works for the good to those who are called according to His purpose."

This gives me hope because even though not everything in life will be happy, when I go through rough times, it makes me appreciate when things are going great. :-) I also remember that everything I go through is meant to bring glory to God.

I'm going to end this post with something I've been concluding with lately:

All for His glory + Always <3

An Open Heart

This is a random post. I'm bored and I don't have much to do :(

I am doing what is called "free writing". What does it mean to possess an open heart toward God, to truly and intimately know Him not just know OF Him?

I no longer work at that job, Vector Marketing, so I have more time on my hands. I could spend that time journaling and cultivating a deep relationship with God because I long for intimacy.

Instead, it seems that I do anything but spend time with God, the One who freed my soul. I ask myself "why is it that when I'm at school, I want to do my devotions but have no time but when I'm home and have absolutely nothing to do, I don't spend time in devotions?"

I reflect on where I was 3 years ago: I was apathetic in my relationship with God and had a closed heart towards Him.

Now I have an open heart to Him, but there is something inside me that lacks motivation to cultivate a deeper level of intimacy with Him.

I have time to sort this out and to gain back motivation to study His word and gain strength in faith.

All for His glory

Relationship Rather than Ability

So last time I wrote on communion verses competence. Simply put, competence focuses on ability whereas communion focuses on relationship rather than ability.

I needed this gentle but powerful reminder from God because sometimes I get caught up in everything I am able to do in reference to my relationship with God.

I am able to say the right things at the right time. God isn't interested in what I am able to do for Him, He just wants me to pursue a deep and intimate relationship with Him.

This also reminds me of the grace and salvation God provides in my life. When I first came to faith, it wasn't based on ability: what I was able to do for Him. He just wanted me. And I came, broken.

Everyday I want the plea of my heart to long to commune with God and not be competent for Him.

It is such a simple concept, but it has changed my perspective on my relationship with God.

All for His glory,

Always <3

Communion verses Competence

Late last night I was journaling (something all too common in my life), and I had a spiritual breakthrough.

Kind of.

I was asking "Why can't I understand God? Why don't I understand the ways He works in my life?"

Then it hit me: I will never understand God because if I understood Him, that would put me equal with Him, and then I would lose my need for Him in my life.

I was also reminded of the sovereignty of God: He is above all. I then journaled a prayer that said "God, help me get over myself and the need to understand You."

Talk about a crash course in humility.

Randomly I thought about Summit in the fall of 2009; and how the speaker talked about communion with God

verses

competence for God.

Communion focuses on everything God is: gracious, merciful, loving, etc., while competence is dependent on me: what I do to earn "spiritual status".

This is something I needed to think about because so many times I simply don't commune with God, I am way too dependent on my abilities to move forward in faith.

All for His glory,

Always <3

Unhindered

I honestly don't know how to start this post. So much has happened in my life with God, that there is only word to describe how I want my spiritual life to be: unhindered.

I honestly don't know what it means to be unhindered.

I am far from reaching this in my spiritual life.

There is so much God wants to do in me the remainder of the summer before I head back to IWU that I appear to be shutting God out.

I want to see God move in my life in life changing but I hinder his work by not taking the time to spend with Him.

Off and on this summer, God has revealed pieces of what He wants to do; what He plans to do, but I have a mindset that says, "I can't do this" and that is the end.

I shut my journal, and in essence, shut God out.

It comes down to fear.

I fear what would come in my life if I just let God work, if I was unhindered.

All for His glory--

Work for God Not Man

Colossians 3:23 states, "Whatever you do, work at with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,"

I need to put this verse into perspective as it relates to my job. God needs to be glorified in everything I do. And this is one more thing I can do for HIM! Right now I'm struggling with work. God has placed me right where He wants me for the summer and I need to constantly remember that when I am scheduling appointments with customers. I essentially run my own business.

It's difficult but I know if I keep at it my hard work will pay off (literally).

All for His glory--

New Job = New Challenges

After about a month of looking I finally found a job. Yay! Although it's not exactly what I thought it would be. I have a position as a sales representative for Vector Marketing which sells kitchen cutlery. Part of my job is to call people to schedule appointments for demonstrations.

So far I haven't had much luck scheduling appointments.

I was excited about having a job again (that wasn't in retail) that I didn't even think about the challenges it would bring.

I'm taking what I learned at "Summit" this past Spring semester and realizing God has put me in this job for a specific reason (I just don't know why yet).

I have a meeting with my manager tomorrow and I'll see how that goes.

I'm being persistent.

What is the worst thing that could happen?

All for His glory :-)